Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
