mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize