Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
