Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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