In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
