You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
