checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
