I wish my penis had an off switch
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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