ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
