go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
i think my cat just said my name.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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