the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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