i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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