So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
