At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
