I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
