ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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