Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
farters have to be the big spoon...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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