dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
