His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
