the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
