Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
