I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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