the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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