if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
porn star boner night. come get it.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Randomize
