life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize