It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
