So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
