apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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