btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
