so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize