Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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