bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
love makes seman taste better
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
