well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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