I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
