I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
