Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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