I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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