"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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