Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
