Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
