i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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