just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
