Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You are the jesus of drinking
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
