i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
