Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
