She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
