Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
