At least make sure they are 18
Why
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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