i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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