i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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