I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
