if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
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