he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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