I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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