where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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