rhymes with "ouble enetration"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
