why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize