Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
